I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
