I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize