This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
