Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
