I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
