would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
