He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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