You're my little dorito
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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