I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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