Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He felt like a one man threesome
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
