Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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