i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
