It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
