I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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