My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
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Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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