so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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