So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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