Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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