My first STD was from a foam party
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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