but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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