Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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