I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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