i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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