I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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