I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
