its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dignity is for republicans.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
