Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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