i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
