making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
