My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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