I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
