New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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