once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
