hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
