I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
