Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
