My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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