Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
