I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
