ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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