Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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