Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
