can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
