There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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