There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize