I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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