Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
