where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
