you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
