I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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