It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
