how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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