____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
