The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
