You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
