would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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