I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
