Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize