I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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