He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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