so explain again why im purple
no
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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