So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
