and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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